The New Year brings in hope and fresh starts and newness and also mild irritation when I write 2011 on a check instead of 2012.
I love a new year, because it makes me feel like I can do anything. I write down resolutions and goals; dream up how I will do things differently that year. Sadly – and this is the universally bitter part about resolutions – is that most of them don’t make them past the second week of January, despite my best intentions. Last year, I made some “Idiot-Proof” Resolutions. I’m kicking myself for naming them that because I did not keep them.
I’ve identified some problems with resolutions as a whole.
1) The goals are large and lofty. (Lose weight! Eat better! Exercise more! Get more organized! Be a better parent! Be a better spouse! Learn something new! Pretend like I have complete and total disdain for chocolate milkshakes and Ryan Gosling!)
2) The goals don’t come with a game plan. Some people have the willpower to say “You know what? It’s January 1st, and for the whole year of 2012, I’m going to be a vegetarian. LET IT BE SO.” My brain does well with lists and solid plans. When I don’t make them, who KNOWS what can happen. (Actually, I know. I hide in the corner of the kitchen and do shots of whipped cream.) I need a game plan. A good one. A color coded one. With cash + prizes at every milestone.
3) I have no one holding me to my resolutions. Except for Jack, and he doesn’t count, because his “Seriously? A chili dog? Before noon?” is met with an eyeroll and a Fresh Prince “Mind yo’ bidness, that’s all, just mind yo’ bidness.”
Wait. You know what I’m talking about, right? Oh. Here:
SEE?
So, I’ve decided I’m going to break up my big lofty goals into tiny, manageable, itty-bitty goals. And instead of tackling them all at once (which, really, is what we try to do on January 1st of every year… overhaul our entire lives)… take them one at a time. One every two weeks or something.
I’m still debating on a name. Bitty-lutions? Dino-bites? (Which has nothing to do with anything, except for the fact that I want a picture of a dinosaur eating something?) Can you come up with something please, because it’s glaringly apparent that my brain is not functioning??
My first Bitty-lution is to simply recycle one of last year’s resolutions, but to do it smarter. Smartly. Smarterly.
#1: Go out with Jack once a month.
So easy, right? SO SO EASY. We went out (by ourselves) twice last year. Unless I count attending weddings, and I probably shouldn’t. Twice! And it’s not because we vehemently despise each other (RIGHT, JACK, RIGHT?), but because we just failed to plan.
Hanging out with Jack requires three things: 1) a time, 2) a place, 3) a babysitter. We both use Google Calendar for scheduling. We can view each other’s calendars, and our calendars sync up to our phones. I’m scheduling times for the entire year now (and securing babysitters in advance).
Nothing says "I love you" like beating things with racquets.
I’m trying to be as realistic as possible, too. Come April, we’ll have a third kiddo to think about (and nursing/sleeping to think about), so for April and May, we’re scheduling small trips out. Dessert at a local restaurant or an hour-long stop at a coffee shop.
How about you? Is planning time with your spouse something you struggle with, as well? OH. JUST US? FINE, OVERACHIEVERS. FINE.
This is totally an issue for us. My hubs thinks that if he can buy me a couple nice gifts a year that it kind of makes up for our crazy schedules (especially crazy this year…I’ve gotten an Iphone 4, Kindle, and MK watch..see- busy=shiny toys in his mind).
I tried explaining that using that money for several dates thruought the year would actually make me much happier (except for the bling, lemme keep my bling).
We are going to work really hard on that this year. We have a date planned for Saturday (free childcare, I do a swap with other mom’s at daycare, equal childcare time to be repaid in the same week, I watch your kid saturday, you’ll watch mine the same amount of time before next saturday).
We really have no excuse but to do it.
We are planning to try for kiddo #2 this year as well – currently I don’t know how we will ever have time for that though. :)
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Roo Reply:
January 6th, 2012 at 9:17 am
Okay, I’m dying at your last sentence. Why? Because as little as we hung out last year, we managed to conceive #3. Sheesh!
Can you tell Jack to buy me an MK watch? I keep going back and forth between two of them that are super pretty.
Does the swap thing work well?
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Kim Reply:
January 6th, 2012 at 10:14 am
1. Oh, good! Maybe there is still a chance that it can happen! I guess tis true; “It only takes one time.” :)
2. I have the Midsize Chronograph style in Rose Gold – ah, be still my heart!
3. The trading works fantastically. Makes going out or getting down time a little more guilt-free because you aren’t paying & everyone wins! Plus the kids have a great time and look forward to the playdates!
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Roo Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 8:06 pm
Ooh, I was eyeing the yellow gold one. :) And the trading idea is fantastic.. I’ll have to mull that one over. :)
I’m a fairly new follower to your blog but I love you already. If you get the disdain for chocolate milshakes and Ryan Gosling thing down let me in on the secret please?! Thanks so much!!
Good luck with your Dino-bites!
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Roo Reply:
January 6th, 2012 at 9:18 am
Hahaha, chocolate milkshakes + Ryan Gosling forevvvverrrr! ♥ ♥ ♥
Thank you so much for finding me! I hope I never let you down! ;)
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Wow!! I’m LOVING that calendar idea. Hubs is a cop, and I work an hour from home- so we normally see each other in passing. This results in a lot of, “You’re going where? For what? You told me when?” conversations. Exhibit A: A couple of weeks ago, I called him from my hotel in Nashville (3 hours away). He was sincerely shocked. He had no idea I was going out of town (in fact, he was at the grocery store wanting to know what to get for dinner that night), even though I swore I told him that one day, standing by the front door as I was leaving. Sigh. So, this calendar thing is a great idea.
We, too, never have time for date nights. I think we may have to set this for a goal as well.
Thanks for sharing.
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Roo Reply:
January 6th, 2012 at 9:28 am
Daaaaang, Brandi! Yes, do the calendar. Before it, we would get into “I TOLD you that I had such-and-such going on that day.” Now, if it’s not in digital ink, it doesn’t exist. :P
Set it! And then we can hassle each other about it. :)
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Roo! I can’t get to YouTube to watch the video at work but I know EXACTLY the scene – where Will is teaching Ashley to stand up to bullies? Right? I was so embarrassed for her. Seriously.
Never give up on shakes and Ryan Gosling. Never. What’s the point of setting yourself up to fail?
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Roo Reply:
January 6th, 2012 at 2:26 pm
Hahaha, yes! YouTube makes me miss that show so badly!
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First, Google Calendar is the best invention EVAR! I love it. Our problem is that I have hound the hubster to put that sh*t in there. Like, his meetings with his adviser (Hubby is a grad student). They used to be the same time every week. But now they change and his calendar has not! AGH!
Second, currently, spending time together is not truly an issue. No kids yet. But I will file the schedule time in advance idea away in my brains so that when we do have kids (Oh, God, am I old enough to do that?!) we can get our time together still. Also filing away that brilliant watch the kids trade off. BRILLIANT.
Third, I’ve been reading awhile and don’t comment often, but I love your blog and you are hilarious.
The end.
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Roo Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 8:07 pm
Does he have a smartphone? Once we got Jack one, he could update it on the spot, and it has helped a tonnnnn.
Thank you sooo much! I hope you comment more (we’re also pretty ca-razy on Facebook).
And… fondant IS gross. :P
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Jenny @ Fondant is Gross Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 8:59 pm
Yeah, we both have them, but he just doesn’t have the same OCD crazy as I do about it.
And the funny thing is, is he was the one who pushed for smart phones in the place! Flingin’
I will do better to comment more, promise. Cross my heart and feet.
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*have to hound
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Love your posts! Great calendar idea…I’m gonna give it a try. Happy New Year
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Roo Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 8:07 pm
Thanks, Suzanne! Let me know if it works out for you! Happy New Year!
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this comment is a.k.a. “angie stopping in to say that she loves you and all things about you, most especially today your blog layout, which i have been adoring since 12:27 am on January 1.”
narf.
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Roo Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 8:07 pm
Angie, I miss you! Can we gchat soon? :)
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I still think “resoROOtions” is AWESOMENESS
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Roo Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Hahahahahaha, Tim. :)
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I love me some Will Smith, 80′s tv, 90′s recordings, and 2000′s movies…. He is totally fab.
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Roo Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 8:08 pm
Seriously, he does it all.
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We have that problem too. And number three is due in a month. Which means I need to figure something out for actually spending time together. Hubs is also going to be working different shifts starting soon….which will mean an even more difficult time spending time together.
And I can’t get him to use a syncing calendar to save my life. *sigh* Damnit.
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Roo Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 8:09 pm
Bahhh we’re in the same boat, sister. I find if I schedule it way in advance and throw reminders everywhere, it helps. I think. Maaayybe.
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Yeah, see, the babysitter is SUCH an issue for us. We don’t go out except for like big deal days. Like my birthday, our anniversary, or if I happen to review a little black dress. (That actually happened)
It is so hard to find a babysitter for a 4 yo, 2yo and 1 yo, especially during the school year. All the highschoolers around here are freakin’ athletes. That doesn’t help me one bit when they are at practice then they have homework.
I like that you are planning this in advance. You will totally love having time for him and you after that baby gets here :)
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Roo Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 8:09 pm
Hahaha I’ll have to find that little black dress review! Amazing.
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Silly Girl- I keep saying, let’s get together! We are known for letting people drop their kids off here. I just solved part of your problem. It’s so important for you guys to have “adult time” – Make it part of the schedule like doctors appointments. Write it in pen! Be Nike and Just Do It.
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Roo Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 8:09 pm
We totally need to! :D
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It took us approximately 5 years to get the whole going out thing down. Seriously. We never went ANYWHERE. Ironically, we moved back home, had another kid, found a great babysitter and now go out on a semi-regular basis. We also have some serious Scrabble battles at the kitchen table after the kidlets go to bed. Sometimes, you don’t have to “go out” to feel like you’ve gone out.
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Roo Reply:
January 7th, 2012 at 8:10 pm
Jill, this reminded me! I just bought Battleship so we could feel like seven year olds again.
Boom – kapow – pshhhhhhhhhhhh. You sunk my ship.
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“mind yo bidness!” AND “dino-bites” in the SAME post?! i die. :o)
seriously good idea to put the date with your guy on the google calendar. since my hubs and i are about to enter parenthood for the first time (due in March!) i’m tempted to schedule dates for April-Dec 2012 in advance. like before the kids is even born kind of advance. :o) look at me pre-planning and only the 7th day into the new year! kazAM!
thanks for the direction.;inspiration roo! you rock gurl. :o)
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since I do not have a spouse, a boyfriend or anything even relatively in the man category. I have to say WHAT?! No! *judgemental head shake*
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oh also make some friends with single adults that like kids. When I was in high school everybody and their brother asked me to babysit, now that I am an adult… crickets.. I love kids and no one asks. And really all you would have to bribe me with is free food I wouldn’t have to cook that doesn’t come from a box or a microwave, and I will be there!
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My husband and I are in out first year of marriage and have no kids yet…we spend a lot of time together, but its not always like focused relationship cultivating time. Its like, grocery shopping, he is sitting in the room reading while i am practicing piano, etc. We currently have a once a week date night that we have held to almost every week of our relationship, even since dating. Obviously i think season change and we will get busier. What was your first year of marriage like? Did you notice some kind of change just when kids came along? We pretty much have found that we have to make it a priority or it wont happen, and dont’ let it get taken over by anything else that can be put on the schedule.But i can see how it can be tricky to get a babysitter or something like that!
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[...] week, I introduced bittylutions.. teeny-tiny resolutions that are a lot more manageable than the one true resolution everyone [...]