Monday, worldwide, seems to be a day for disdain.
We’ve coined phrases like “I’ve got a case of the Mondays” and update our Facebook statuses with statements like “The worst thing about Sunday is that it’s the day before Monday.”
If the weekend is a reprieve, then Monday morning is an abrupt return to reality.
I like to avoid any stay-at-home mom vs. work-out-of-home mom vs. work-at-home mom debates. Because labels and work wardrobe aside, all mothers lose a little sleep at 2am at the sound of “Mommy, I just puked.”
In the midst of dirty laundry, work deadlines, demanding children, an insurmountable list of errands to run, and that nagging suspicion that you are quickly losing that youthful glow, it can be difficult to not be overwhelmed and frustrated. And, of course, this does not ring true only with mothers… with anyone really. Life can be… hard.
How does one get past that? The dread of the alarm clock, the defeat of a to-do list, yet again unaccomplished?
A mindset change. There are about a million versions of the following quote, trite as it may seem: “If you don’t like something, change it. If you cannot change it, change the way you think about it.”
While I’m working through bittylutions and trying to put systems in place to make my day-to-day smoother (and holy moly, it’s been working… truly), none of those are a magic pill.
Gratitude.
It isn’t magical; it isn’t new. But it changes a perspective. Two weeks ago, I spent a solid afternoon crying about some allergy testing the girls had. I was hoping that the doctors would say “Good news! They’ve outgrown the _____ allergy!” Instead, they added more to the list (dairy, egg, soy, wheat, peanuts, tree nuts, sesame, and mustard, if you were wondering).
After staring at my kitchen in despair (seriously, what am I supposed to cook?!), I was hit with the realization that things could be so much worse. They don’t have a debilitating disease. They have all of their limbs. Surely I can alter our diets. I’m lucky enough to have a wealth of information at my fingertips. Let me be grateful for this news, because changing their diets will make them healthier.
Holy mother, that’s a lot of laundry to do. So glad I have a washer and dryer, and that I’m not beating underwear against rocks in a river a half a mile away. So glad I have clothes to clothe myself. So glad I have sweet children who wear these teeny shirts and socks.
Does it sound stupid? Sure, it can sound stupid. But whispering thanks can put so many things into perspective.
I’m not saying I look like this every second of the day…
But I don’t cry over spilled milk. It’s spilled milk. Worst case scenario, that’s a five minute cleanup job. I will not let it ruin my day.
And I’ve come to love Mondays. Really. Every morning is a fresh start. And even if it’s mid-afternoon, all is not lost. Every day can be redeemed.
C’mere, Monday. Give me a hug.
you go Roo. It is awfully easy to take things like running water, flushing toilets, central heating, cars, full kitchen cupboards, the capacity to see and hear and think clearly for granted. If I really think about it, I have all of those things by sheer luck and grace only. So whoa, that it”s amazing, knowing I just plain got lucky enough to be born here and now into this blessed life. Dang. How could that not be a mid blower on a Monday morning!?
Of course, now I have to go get a mammogram. I like to this procedure as taking a picture of a raisin between two saltines. You know, just when I get all sappy, I gots to keep it real.
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JP Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 9:36 am
ugh, “mind blower” and “I like to think”. Or just add the proper letters and words to edit my post in your minds as you see fit.
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 9:41 am
Take care of those girls, girl. :)
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I really enjoy reading your posts. I think that is a great way of thinking! Life is so short we must try to enjoy every day even if it’s Monday. Children grow up so fast we must try to enjoy every moment even if it is spilt milk or juice, like in our house. Sometimes I just have to ignore the small things and realize it’s not that bad, why stress something so small. Life is what we make it out to be.
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 9:51 am
I will fully admit that I am not the most joyful person in a really terrible moment, but the rough ones pass. :)
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Excellent post. I just signed my kids up for gymnastics classes on Monday mornings. I am hoping it will give us something to look forward to as the Mr. goes back to work and we start another crazy week!
Re: check out the blog Cheeseslave and her information on overcoming food allergies with the GAPS diet. I don’t have any food allergies to have personal experience but I know several people who have healed their gut with this diet, and now no longer suffer from food allergies and intolerances! It can be a difficult diet to stick with, as it is pretty restrictive, but it looks like your girls already can’t eat most of the things that would be eliminated on the diet anyway, so maybe it wouldn’t be so bad!
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 9:47 am
Gymnastics sounds like fun! I’ve been thinking about getting Baby Shark enrolled.
I will check that blog out. Thanks for the tip! :)
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i like it :) i have been trying to do this too. life and mothering can be a lot sometimes. when you put things in perspective, it makes it easier to roll with the punches and the spilled milk. in my case, i have had a raging spinal headache (from my epidural) for a week since i had baby owen, but i am thankful he is healthy and that i have had my family here to help all week while i am laid up on the couch :) and my headache is almost gone now! yay monday!
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 10:14 am
Oh no! Sorry about that headache, Ingrid. Hope it goes away soooon. xo
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This is one of those things I know I need to do, but it is super hard for me. When I can do it my attitude completely changes and I’m a happier person.
PS Sometimes, just sometimes, Mondays for working moms are nice because we can sit in our office and say, “Ahhhh, quiet.” Not that I do that are anything.
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 10:26 am
Hahaha, I totally know what you mean! I feel that way about cleaning in an empty house. ;)
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Awesome post! This has been my challenge for the past 2 months or so as well. Gratitude. I JUST finished reading One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp and it was much more challenging to take in than I expected. I want to read it again! But I loved everything she had to say about living a lifestyle of thanksgiving…even when the laundry is piled up and there are shoes thrown across the halls, endless dishes to be washed, and the toys that you thought you just put away are back in the living room. Yes, it is so easy to be caught up and overwhelmed in all there is to do but man I am so tired of letting it steal my joy and get me in a frustrated mood throughout the day. I have been trying to just “be in the moment” so to speak and grab all the little gifts life has to offer, especially when it comes to my kids and husband. I don’t want to take anything for granted. And it reminds me of that pic you posted a while back of Rembot on a swing saying that you were going to enjoy this now because one day you will miss moments like that. *Siiiiigh* Thanks for encouraging us to be grateful! :)
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 10:28 am
Erica, I’ve been reading One Thousand Gifts, too! I’ve had to read it slowly… she’s a bit more flowery and poetic than I can handle in large doses. But yes, just the changing of a mindset really opens you up to experiencing greater joy, I think. “Gratitude precedes the miracle.” So, so true. :)
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LOVE THIS! so true. gratitude changes everything.
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 5:53 pm
xo :)
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AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME and you are so right. A little attitude adjustment can make a world of difference. I am totally going to work on this NOW. Thanks Roo!
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 5:53 pm
Sure thing, Lynn! :)
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Attitudes are hard to change, and let’s face it, I just don’t want to! I’m lazy that way. Thanks for the reminder, I’ll try today and hopefully it will help me to try tomorrow. Tomorrow’s the real monday for me, but I don’t mind getting back in the swing of things and being on a schedule again. The weekends are a nice break from work, but mondays are a nice break from a crazy weekend.
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 5:54 pm
Oh gosh, it’s not easy, right? Wahhhh. :)
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I actually love Mondays because the kids go out to school and I get to go back to bed. And then I get to pretty much do whatever I want to until they get home at 3:00. (Yes, laundry and cooking and errands and dentist appointments, but sheesh, at least we have what we need and a roof over our heads.)
So why am I sooooo blah today? Because the dentist appointment this afternoon is mine. Ugh.
Great post, as usual.
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Hope your teeth are sparkly, Chelle! :)
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oh, bummmer about the allergies! but it’s doable, we are gluten free here and now I am dairy free as well because Baby Bee is reacting to dairy. but I know what you mean…we just found out Baby Bee has laryngomalacia and while it’s easy to feel sorry for him and myself, how grateful am I that we have awesome insurance, and can go to the very best doctors to care for him? it sounds like you have the right attitude!
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 5:55 pm
Kelly! My girls both had laryngomalacia… both outgrew it. I used to stand in between their cribs at night and just be surrounded by tons of snoring. Always cracked me up. :)
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I am actually a bit of a perfectionist and up until recently I would have an internal melt down if things did not go exactly as I thought they would. I work a full time job (outside of my house), have two kids, a household to maintain and an Etsy shop to keep up. Some days I feel like Super Mom, but most days I have to say so what if my house isn’t spotless or my kids are running like banshees around the already messy house. Life goes on. It is up to us to enjoy the awesome things we are blessed with. I agree that it can be hard to do when you feel like you may not recover from the hardship you are faced with, but it could always be worse.
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 5:56 pm
I hear you about the perfectionism, Juliana! I want to do it all, and I want to do it all well. :) I think I’m embracing that the goal is progress, not necessarily perfection.
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LOVE, LOVE this post. I try not to be too much of a complainer. As an Army spouse it’s hard to see too many complaints from the same person when you have close friends who have literally lost it all. My whole world has a different perspective because of my husband’s job- and I’m thankful for it. I’m a Monday lover. It’s a new week with endless possibilities.
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Roo Reply:
March 5th, 2012 at 5:57 pm
Yay, Monday lover! ♥
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I’ve learned to love mondays. I used to dislike it because it was a day I had no plans so I was kind of forced to busy myself at home with the baby and housework and by day’s end I was stir crazy. And it was JUST monday. Now I see it as a day to spend uninterrupted quality time with my family because by September a certain baby daddy is getting deployed so nowadays I don’t wanna miss a thing. (sorry, I couldn’t think of anything besides the Aerosmith lyrics)
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Roo Reply:
March 6th, 2012 at 6:53 am
Oh man. Deployed? Quality family time is wonderful. Wishing you lots of it over the next six months. ♥
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I big puffy heart Mondays. It means the kids go to school, and the hubby is at work and the house is quiet. I usually waste that time missing them, but I still kind of love the moment I get to ‘breathe’ every Monday even if the rest of the day is a hugely crazy.
I’ll admit to not being the most positive person (I’m a work in progress), so next time I know to call you up so you can tell me how my ‘problems’ will seem smaller given some gratitude.
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Roo Reply:
March 6th, 2012 at 6:56 am
Sure, sure, I’ll be happy to smack you around a little. ;)
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See, as a stay at home mom, I just start thinking of every day as a Monday, and I have some good Monday’s and some bad Monday’s so when Monday actually comes around, I’m not too disappointed. I don’t have beef with Monday’s. Unless its a bad one.
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Roo Reply:
March 6th, 2012 at 6:57 am
Kimberly, you’ve got a point. I’m home with the girls, and sometimes Jack actually works 7 days a week. Almost as if weekends don’t exist sometimes. ;)
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We started this monday in a bit of a frustrating flur.. and finally recomposed ourselves with a little walk.. sometimes the change in atmosphere can do wonders..
How old do kids have to be to have the allergy testing done?
My oldest is dairy, nut, raspberry free so far… and had to be on special formula.. and couldn’t have anything with regular rice flour :/
At least now with my newest there is brown rice flour more readily available.. I thought I was going to have to make my own!
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Roo Reply:
March 6th, 2012 at 6:58 am
My younger girl had allergy testing at four months!
We just got into brown rice pasta. I’ll do a post soon. Hopefully you’ll get some ideas! Good luck, Stephanie, I know it can be really, really difficult.
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Although I read this on tuesday, awesome post :) Our attitude is so important, and remembering how much we have to be thankful for really puts things into perspective. I read “One Thousand Gifts” a few months ago and it really impacted me about those types of things. Thanks for the post!
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Roo Reply:
March 10th, 2012 at 9:42 pm
I’m thinking about adding that book to the book club list. :) You’re welcome, Jamie. Thanks for the comment!
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It’s so easy to get all down about things – including our “first world problems” – but you’re right. I’ll take a screaming 2-year-old over a silent one, unable to talk or express emotion.
With my busted wing, a lot of people keep saying that they couldn’t do it, they’re not sure how I am handling it all. Well – to tell you the truth – you do what you gotta do. Nothing we can do to change it, be thankful it wasn’t worse (which it sooo could have been….hiiiii snowblower 2 inches from my face).
I’ve got the Attitude of Gratitude book here in my office. It helps to just take a breather and look at it when things start to get all jumbly in my mind. :)
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Roo Reply:
March 10th, 2012 at 9:42 pm
I hope you’re healing quickly, Steph! xo
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Why do you have to make so much sense? ;)
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Roo Reply:
March 10th, 2012 at 9:40 pm
It’s brief and rare. Like a comet. :)
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I should have read this yesterday! Awesome post. It’s true, things can always be worse than they are so we shoudl be thankful for what we have. Even if things go wrong, we’re being refined as people.
Sorry about the allergies. I was diagnosed with allergies myself about a year ago. Have you seen this? http://www.allergykids.com
They have recipes and such. I’ll put it in your new post too.
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Roo Reply:
March 10th, 2012 at 9:41 pm
Paulina, I’m responding to this comment late. You are sweet. Thanks for always having something encouraging to say. :)
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[...] The day after I wrote this slightly mushy post on being grateful despite our circumstances, an MRI told Jack “Oh dang, son. You tore your [...]
[...] charge of making Rembot’s lunch for school the next day. We’re still figuring out the whole food allergy thing, so we’re still learning what goes well in her lunch and what she’ll actually eat. I [...]
Thank you for your post on gratitude. This is something I’ve really been working on remembering for the last 9 months and slowly, it is sinking in. I was compelled to say hello b/c my daughter has all the allergies you list, minus mustard for her but plus nightshades for me. I know we eat much, much healthier than we would otherwise, so I am grateful for the increased health the allergies are *giving* us. I do hope she outgrows some of them, but I also wonder if it will actually be better for us…
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[...] between Jack and local restaurants, we’d be fine. But now the girls have all of these allergies, so we can’t really count on restaurants to be as vigilant as we are about food [...]