He’s Got a Secret

When I first found out I was pregnant with Rembot, I made a video full of stick figure cartoons to the song “You’ve Got a Friend in Me” (get it!?) and showed it to Jack when he got home from work.  We were due to close on our first house in just a couple of days, so I lied and said the video was about memories of our time at our apartment.

This is from four years ago, so please forgive my poor editing skills.  I had made the video private for about a year, but I publicked (<–not a real word) so you can see how incredibly nerdy I am.

I told Jack I would like to be surprised and not find out the gender, but by the time the 20 week ultrasound came around, he had convinced me to find out, and our monotone tech announced that we were having a girl.

When I was pregnant with Baby Shark, I was adamant about not finding out the gender.  “Let’s be surprised!”  He wasn’t really into it, but I remained strong through my ultrasound.  But, it was discovered that Baby Shark had a problem with her kidneys, so we probably had about a dozen ultrasounds during that pregnancy.  During one of those ultrasounds, a tech kept using gender-specific terms.  “He’s growing well.”  “His right kidney…”  Etc., etc.

I was so upset.  I felt like my surprise was ruined, so we had the tech put the gender on a piece of paper and stick it in an envelope while I sorted out my feelings.  Jack went to work and I moped all day.  He convinced me to open the envelope, so we decided to at least try to make it fun.  Later that night, we uploaded a video to Facebook showing the process.  We had gone to a local bakery, gave them the envelope, and had them write the gender on a brownie.  We took Rembot out to dinner, and the waitstaff seemed as excited as we were.  They all marched out with a brownie and candles and screamed “It’s a girl!”  The video was a fantastic way to tell our family and friends.

So this pregnancy, I decided, enough is enough.  We are not – under any circumstances – finding out the gender.  Jack protested, but I stood firm.  Had an ultrasound; didn’t find out the gender.  Because kidney issues can be hereditary, they wanted us to do a follow up ultrasound.  Another chance to find out the gender.  We did not.

And Jack was disturbingly upset.  He wanted to know the gender of his baby.  And because of HIPAA laws, the ultrasound tech wouldn’t tell him, simply because I’m the patient and I didn’t want us to find out.

“It just makes me feel like I had.. nothing to do with this.”

Bah.  On one hand, come on.  Be surprised with me.  Won’t it be fun?  But, on the other hand, I realize that Jack and I are two completely different people.  We like different things.  We switch radio stations on each other in the car.  He likes background noise, and I prefer quiet.  He’s better at listening; I’m better at reading.  So on, and so forth.

And I want to be surprised.  And he does not.

When he was out of the room, I whispered to the tech to please write the gender down.  She wrote the gender on a post-it note and I shoved it in my pocket.  And then I stuffed it in my wallet.

At home, I transferred the note into an envelope, and then another envelope, and then ANOTHER envelope, and wrote Jack a little note, telling him that while I would much prefer that he find out the gender with me at the hospital when our baby is born, he is welcome to find out on his own, and I will respect whatever decision he makes.

I also wrote NOOOOOOOO DON’T OPEN MEEEEEEEEEE on every single envelope.  :)

I gave it to him, and he was thrilled.  He waited a solid week and a half to open it, and, as I had requested, videotaped his reaction so I could one day watch it.  (Can you tell we’re super into videotaping things?)

So Jack knows the gender.  And I do not.

“Can I post the video to NiceGirlNotes so your readers can watch it and then I’ll delete it?  Everyone will know but you, won’t that be fun!?”

Ummmm.

:)